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Does God exist?

Atheist: “Nope.”
Christian: “I want to introduce you to my best friend . . . Jesus Christ.”
Jew: “If he does then he's got about 3,000 years of explaining to do!”
Muslim: “I don't drop what I'm doing five times a day to pray for nothing.”
Scientist: “Haven't figured that out yet, we're still doing the math.”
Hippie: “Our Mother Earth, Gaia.”
Buddhist: “Do you think God exists?”
Stoner: “Do . . . like . . . any of us really exist?”
Polytheist: “They all do.”
Henotheist: “They all do; but mine is better.”
Hindu: “33 Gods exist . . . or is it 33 crores?”
Feminist: “Yes She does!”
Agnostic: “Maybe.”
Sci-Fi: “God is an alien!”
Greek Philosopher: “What if God did exist? Then what?”
Criminally Insane: “I am God!”
Joan Osborne: “What if God was one of us?”
Aquinas: “Yes, and a good thing, too.”
Paine: “Yes, but we’re still screwed.”
Sartre: “No, so we’re still screwed.”
Nietzsche: “No, and a good thing, too.”
“Then there was the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.”
Neoclassical Economist: “Whether or not God exists is irrelevant. The cost of believing in God is minuscule compared to the benefit you’d get if God does exist.”
Stephan Hawking: "There is no god”
God: "There is no Stephan Hawking”
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